Spy games

A Nazi spy is riding a motorcycle up a mountain path. I am chasing him on the same style of dirt bike. The mountain is dry and rocky, as if in a western desert. The spy makes sharp turns and I follow him across impossibly high jumps from cliff to cliff. He jumps an outcropping of rock and reaches the bottom of the mountain. He disappears behind a rise and takes off in a VW bug that has been tricked out as a dune buggy. It is rusted orange with the red, gray and black nazi swastika painted in the door. I am suddenly in a dune buggy myself and continue the chase across the rocks and sand. Just as suddenly, I am a young boy on a bicycle and so is the spy. As I follow him, he stops in the middle of the dirt path. I slow down, but bump into him. I yell at him for almost causing an accident, then I continue on as if I have not been following him. He starts riding again and quickly catches up to me. To try and fool him into leading me to his destination, I act as if I am pissed about the wreck he almost caused and cut him off to keep him from passing me. I speed up and sneer back at him to challenge him to a race. He takes the bait and struggles to pass me. I pedal harder and harder to stay ahead, then let him get just ahead of me. He darts ahead as he verves off the road and up to a house. He laughs as I coast past, thinking that he has outdone me in the race, but I have outsmarted the spy.

Watch out!

Trying to buy a ticket to a concert on a cruise on a paddleboat. Not sure if I’m going to be able to make it because of the steamroller.

Fernt at Disney

I’m looking a series of pictures of Blair on fernt.com. The first is the usual shot of him wearing the fernt shirt with some random celebrity. But the next few shots are with some hot chick with short, brown hair. Then I click on something and watch a video. It is random clips of me with the guys from jersey at Disney and other clips of other people I know from Disney (like my old roommates Joel and Ryan). The video is totally random. There is stuff in the parks, at the Vista Way apartment complex and random bars or parties. I don’t recognize any of the footage, but I am laughing out loud watching it. One scene is Joel, Ryan, me and three other guys all holding a pair of tennis shoes in our hand and waving them around the room in a choreographed routine that makes it look like these 12 flying shoes are walking in unison.

Race

Several cars are lined up to start a race. Members of my family are driving. Dad is managing the start and is signaling the cars when to begin. But instead of everybody starting at once, Dad signals me to pull up to the start line and begin before the other cars. But I can’t pull straight up to the line, because other cars are in the way. I need to turn around, so I drive out into a wide circle. But I still can’t make it straight up to the line. I try turning around a few more time. I need to spin out the tires, so the car makes a tighter turn, but I don’t want to drive recklessly in front of my parents. Eventually, I make the tight turn, kicking up gravel in the process. Dad signals and I start the race. I don’t know if other cars will follow or if it is a time trial. I take off at the start down a dirt road. I have to swerve around random kids and a few adults. Some just stand there in panic, others jump out of the way. I am amazed that I didn’t hit anyone, but I don’t slow down. It’s like I’m driving with heightened reaction times. I drive into a house, but I don’t crash into it. It is just part of the race that happens to go through a few rooms of a house. I have to stop partway through and get out and clean up a room. I sweep as fast as possible as if it is all part of the race. Then I continue driving back outside. There is no transition between driving inside or outside, the scenery just suddenly changed.
For some reason, I have to send Mom to Australia.

Fine dining

Eating in a restaurant with white tablecloths. I talk to the waitress as if I used to work there.

Property

There is a party at a house. I own the house, but don’t recognize it. I walk past a bedroom with the door slightly open and see a couple making out. As I walk away, they start fucking. I find my girlfriend and want to take her to another bedroom. But when we get there, two young couples are having sex on two beds in the room. I consider joining in, but don’t want to interrupt. In another room, we see an older couple that is getting dressed after making love. To get them to leave the room, I ask them if want to soak in the hot tub. The husband says that they don’t swing. I wonder what they’re doing at the party anyway and decide not to sell them the barn near their property.

Worst action movie ever

I’m driving a large truck through a construction site that seems to go on for several blocks alongside an office building. I am driving over boards, pipes, dirt and scaffolding. At some points, these materials form an unstable track or bridge over ditches or large holes. I’m nervous but keep driving straight ahead. Then the truck starts to slide off a bridge. I jump out of the cab and grab the truck like Superman to throw it across. But just a large strip of metal (that looks like a cross between a transmission and a bumper) lands on the sidewalk on the other side. It skids to a stop on the concrete with sparks flying. Two women in business dress dart scared out of the way. I say “Sorry about that.”
A plane crashes and somehow amid the wreckage a truck full of explosives ends up sitting on the roof of a warehouse or office park. But nobody knows that it is there because the government has sealed off the area. I saw it, but can’t prove it. There is charred cement and yellow police tape in several areas around town. I meet up with a kid and try to get up to the roof of his building across the street. But his dad stops us in the lobby to talk. He is wearing a high-ranking military uniform. Then I am strolling through a park of green grass and trees, but suddenly I walk onto a beach right in the middle of the park. Laying in the sun on her side is Britney Spears. She is naked but covered in sand clinging to her wet skin. I lick my finger and wipe the sand off one of her nipples. She starts to get up and yells, “I hope that was worth it!” I say, “Hey, sorry” and run off. Then I am walking on a paved path through the grass towards her again. She is standing and now wearing shorts and a cropped t-shirt. I don’t know if her eyes were closed or if she didn’t turn around in time to see me, but she does not act upset to see me. Instead, she asks me if I have seen the kid. I wonder if she thinks he did it. But just then, the boy and his father walk into the park. She is happy to see them.
I am walking through an empty stadium. The field is covered in mud. I step down off of a ramp and into wet. Thick mud. I trudge through it, trying to step carefully at first. As I make my way across the mud and grab onto a railing on the other side to pull myself up a short wall on the other side, I think that the people down here must have a much better time than the one watching from the sky boxes up above.

No offense

At a party, everyone there assumes I’m gay. Someone makes an off-hand comment about homosexuals and a straight guy winks at me as if to say, “don’t take offense.”

Snow gun fight

In hotel with guys. There is stuff in the room. I fake a fight to leave. Everyone is pointing guns in the snow. Bags are packed, but I can’t leave with them without the others seeing. I realize how much stuff I’m leaving behind. There is a plate of Christmas cookies in a cabinet. I get a trash bag to fill with the suitcase and stuff in jacket. I think about asking the hotel staff to hold my stuff and I’ll drive back to get it next weekend.

Snow drive

Driving through a suburban neighborhood that is covered in snow. The car skids at every turn or whenever I touch the brakes. I see other cars spin off the road. Then my car starts spinning in complete circles. I stay on the road and straighten back out. This keeps happening again and again. I feel like I’m still in control, as if I can steer which way the spins take me. But I get hopelessly lost. I can’t find the street that the house I’m looking for is on. A car is behind me, I can’t tell if he’s following me. I think it might be a cop. After awhile I pull into a driveway to lose him. I pull in past the house and see that it was an SUV behind me and that it turned into the driveway before the one I did. I drive into the yard behind the house and consider driving right through to the house behind it. But can’t tell if there’s a ditch between the two yards. So turn around in the yard and drive back out the driveway. I see the guy from the SUV walking up to the house next door. I wave and he smiles and waves back. As he climbs the steps to a large porch/deck at the front of the house, I see he is on a cell phone. I want to ask for directions, but don’t want to interrupt him. As I drive off, I can hear what he is saying even though I shouldn’t be able to because the car windows are up. But I can hear him and he is calling the police. He tells them that he doesn’t know if the neighbor’s are home and that I must be some kind of identity thief. I think he sounds nuts and hope the cops do too. I don’t think he is giving them a description of my car, but I try to drive away as safely and quickly as possible.

Bullies

I’m walking through a field and Brian Steinberger comes at me with a bat. He doesn’t hit me but he smashes the wooden latticework that I’m carrying. We fight and then I run back towards his bike. I’m going to smash it, but he yells at me not to. I yell back that he has to give me cash for my fence. He says 30 bucks and throws some bills at me. I grab and look at them and one of them is a 50 dollar bill. So I take off running before he can come after me. I run around a house that is under construction and towards a strip mall.

Rough flight & Amusement Parks

Flying with mom over a changing terrain. There are dry, rocky barren areas, then wooded hills and then grassy fields. The hot air balloon drifts over a rocky, small hill and there is a straight drop-off on the other side. Mom quickly descends and the balloon drops, crashing through the trees below. I am surprised that the balloon doesn’t tear on any of the branches. But we clear the trees below and begin flying over a more grassy area. We see Jerry Copas standing below us and yell down to him.

Driving my old red Blazer out of an amusement park and have to drive along a water slide route. The Blazer plows through the water with ease, but bounces back and forth between the rails like the “antique” car ride at King’s Island. The track I am on has several drops and sharp turn and different routes I could take. Several of the paths that I have to take look way too narrow for the truck, but I make it through no problem.

I am walking around an amusement park and assume I will run into Andy Minteer. Eventually, I do. Minteer is with another fraternity brother, Jason Hollar. And we gather together with a few other random people to pose for a picture. Then I notice that Ashley Montrie from high school is taking the picture. Then I realize that I am wearing the white robe that Brooke gave me with nothing underneath. I turn around and bump into Melissa from my old neighbor that also went to high school with me. Hollar and another guy that posed for pictures are also wearing bathrobes now, and they comment that mine is much nicer. They act like they are going to flash people, but they are wearing clothes under their robes.

Shitroll

Using a one-person bathroom in a movie theater or restaurant. I finish and reach for the toilet paper to wipe. But there is already shit on the paper. I drop it and pull more paper off the roll. But it is also covered in thick, wet shit. I drop it again and check the roll. The rest of the roll looks clean and normal. But when I unroll more paper, the underside of it is completely covered like a mudslide. Now a man bangs on the door and yells hurry up in there. I yell back “just a minute” and then “someone made a real mess in here.” I try to scoop the pile of shit and paper up, but realize that it will just clog the toilet if I try to stuff it all in there.