Shitroll

Using a one-person bathroom in a movie theater or restaurant. I finish and reach for the toilet paper to wipe. But there is already shit on the paper. I drop it and pull more paper off the roll. But it is also covered in thick, wet shit. I drop it again and check the roll. The rest of the roll looks clean and normal. But when I unroll more paper, the underside of it is completely covered like a mudslide. Now a man bangs on the door and yells hurry up in there. I yell back “just a minute” and then “someone made a real mess in here.” I try to scoop the pile of shit and paper up, but realize that it will just clog the toilet if I try to stuff it all in there.